


nothing comes as easy as you

by Murf1307



Series: 2017 Holiday OTP Fic Blast [2]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Hanukkah, M/M, Minor References to Transphobia, Mutual Pining, New Year’s Eve, Pining, Trans Male Character, oblivious to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 06:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13184175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murf1307/pseuds/Murf1307
Summary: In the brightest timeline, Bobby and John have always been a little different.  They fall in love without knowing exactly what they’re doing, and soon, it becomes just a little too big to ignore.





	nothing comes as easy as you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gullapip](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gullapip/gifts).



> I wrote this for my partner, gullapip, for her birthday back in October, but didn’t finish it until last night. Also it includes mentions of Raven/Irene and Rahne/Dani, but they’re not plot-important.

Kitty’s the one who finds them asleep together, tangled up in Bobby’s sheets. There’s nothing overly suspect about the tableau -- they’re both wearing last night’s clothes, and the sheets themselves are a bit of a wreck, as is John’s hair. They’re just...wrapped around each other, that’s all. It’s normal for them, Kitty knows that, but it still looks _weird_ to anyone but the two of them.

Kitty clears her throat, and John -- ever the light sleeper -- wakes up. He flushes darkly and gives her a look, hissing, “What are you doing in _our_ room?”

Bobby starts to stir, but he takes a lot longer to actually wake up, so Kitty replies, “You guys missed morning Danger Room training. Rogue’s mom’s kinda pissed.” She shrugs. “You guys must’ve forgotten to set your alarms or something, huh?”

“Yeah. Let’s go with that.” He rolls his eyes, and nudges Bobby. “Hey, man,” he mutters, trying to get Bobby at least halfway to coherent, if he can.

Bobby mumbles something and buries his face into John’s neck. Kitty raises her eyebrows.

John glares at her, and she smirks. “I’m gonna get going. You guys are gonna be late to class if Bobby takes too much longer to wake up.”

“He’ll be fine,” John insists, and if Kitty pretends she doesn’t see him running his fingers through Bobby’s hair as she turns and phases out of the room?

Well, that’s just gay-lesbian solidarity, that’s all.

 

* * *

 

The thing is, the only person who doesn’t seem to know how this all looks is Bobby. John’s at least cognizant of his own feelings, even if he refuses to believe they’re returned, and everyone who’s ever seen them together _knows_ there’s something there.

But Bobby? Has no. Fucking. Idea.

Rogue is getting pretty damn tired of it, honestly. There’s only so many times she can cajole and suggest and gently push Bobby in the vague direction of self-realization, before she’s going to lose her damn mind.

So, she goes to her mother. Not Irene, who would likely just give her that enigmatic, uncomfortable smile that says she knows exactly what you’re gonna do _anyway_ , but Mystique -- retired leader of the X-Men and occasional teacher, in between doing things people aren’t quite comfortable talking about.

Sometimes, having lesbian mutant moms is exactly as you would imagine, honestly.

Anyway, she goes to her mother: “Momma?”

“What is it, Rogue?” Mystique’s grading papers while dressed as the Professor -- she’s even got the man’s voice right, but the body language is all wrong, on purpose.

Rogue rolls her eyes. “Bobby’s doin’ it again. Goin’ on and on about John, and he don’t even know what it all means.”

Mystique smirks and turns back into herself. “They’ll figure it out.”

“Did Momma tell you something?” Rogue asks, pouting.

Mystique just gives her more of that smile -- one _identical_ to Irene’s -- and Rogue could just pull her own hair out in frustration.

Fine. She’s just gonna have to get it from Bobby the hard way.

 

* * *

 

Bobby _knows_ that somebody has spent the last three years making sure that there’s a quart of ice cream in the kitchen fridge with his name written on it.

He’s never been able to _catch_ them, however, until tonight.

Somehow, as he creeps up behind John as he puts the new quart of Neapolitan in the freezer, he can’t believe that all along it’s been John.

Something tightens in his chest, and he doesn’t know what that means. “John?”

John jumps and freezes, ironically. “Bobby?”

“So you’ve been the one leaving me ice cream?” Bobby asks, blushing a tiny bit.

“Uh, yeah.” John runs his hand back through his own hair. “I mean, you do keep eating it, so…”

Bobby smiles at him. “That’s cute.”

Because it is -- John’s not the kind of guy to be openly so considerate about other people, and it makes Bobby feel, y’know, a little special.

John blushes brightly. “I mean, it’s how we met.”

“Yeah. I was sitting over there, and it was raining, and you knocked on the window because it was the only ground-floor light on in the house.”

“Yeah.” John grins a little. “You were eating strawberry ice cream and you looked so confused when you saw me outside. I coulda been anybody, but you still let me in.”

“Of course I did. And it turned out for the best, right?”

 

* * *

 

John wraps an arm around Bobby the next time he wakes up tangled up with him. They’re in one of the rec rooms, and it’s three in the morning, and the TV is buzzing nearby. One of the littler kids is sitting there in front of the couch, staring at him with big eyes.

“John?” She says. “Shouldn’t you and Bobby be in your room?”

It’s Tallulah, a little girl with blue hair and the ability to communicate with any animal she pleases. She’s also nine years old and everyone’s favorite whenever there’s a field trip to the zoo.

“Lulah, kiddo, shouldn’t you?” He asks, as Bobby stirs on his chest. “Now sh, I don’t wanna wake him.”

Tallulah gives him a secret little smile, and John starts to wonder if it’s just animals Tallulah has a special insight into as she slips out of the room.

Bobby wakes up slowly, his head resting on John’s shoulder. “Johnny?”

“Yeah, icicle?”

“We should go upstairs…?”

“Nah, just go back to sleep.”

 

* * *

 

Eventually, though, it all has to come to a head. That said, it _doesn’t_ happen in a fight with the Purifiers, a group of human religious zealots that scare Bobby more than even the most powerful Evil Mutant the X-Men have faced.

John is pinned down in an alleyway, and the three Purifiers hemming him in all have guns. Bobby manages to neutralize the Purifier he’s fighting with an ice sled sent skimming out toward the lake in Central Park -- well, depending on his aim, he might fall a hundred yards short, but right now, Bobby doesn’t care.

A wall of ice builds up between John and the looming threat, and Bobby slides in to box the Purifiers into the alley in turn. Standing there, he doesn’t say anything.

Oh, he wants to, but he doesn’t.

He just waits, and the ice creeps in from the walls, then shoots out to pin the Purifiers to the brick walls of the alley. Once they’re pinned, the ice proceeds to lock them down in tendrils, boots, gloves -- entire carapaces of ice.

The wall of ice recedes, and Bobby drops to his knees next to John, who is sporting an awe-stricken stare and a black eye.

“Are you okay?” Bobby asks, taking his hands.

“Yeah, but, uh, holy shit, B -- Iceman, what the hell is that?”

Bobby looks back at the Purifiers and flushes pink. “I didn’t like that they were trying to hurt you.”

John nods, blinking.

Clearly, someone must’ve hit him pretty hard on the head.

 

* * *

 

John doesn’t _get_ it. He doesn’t understand why Bobby is so easily moved to violence on his behalf.

He feels like nobody should be that easily motivated to do anything on his behalf, but he really doesn’t get why Bobby is so okay with hurting people, even bad people, because John’s been put at risk.

He turns the facts around in his head over and over, and he just can’t wrap his mind around it all.

Bobby seems to notice how his mood has taken a nosedive in recent days, and John’s not really surprise when Bobby tugs him down onto his bed one evening a few days after the fight with the Purifiers.

John settles into Bobby’s arms, feeling just a little bit guilty about everything he feels, how much he wants Bobby to do things like this, to take him in and hold him like he matters -- well, matters more than John has always known he’s allowed to, anyway.

Things are better, now, than they were at first, when John had been suspicious of everything approaching a kindness. But here, now, he knows that Bobby just cares.

The problem is just that he doesn’t care the right way, doesn’t love John the way he wants to be loved, and John’s just going to have to live with that.

“Hey, are you okay?” Bobby asks him. “You’ve been a little weird.”

John swallows, quietly. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just...I keep thinking about the alleyway.”

It’s more honest than he would’ve been okay with being, but here, against Bobby, he can’t help himself.

Bobby holds him a little tighter. “Are you mad at me, for going too far?” he asks, quietly. Because that’s just like Bobby, to assume John’s mad at him, instead of being bewildered at him.

John shakes his head. “No, I just — I don’t get get why you _would_.”

“Because you’re you.” Now Bobby’s the one who sounds bewildered. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“...I don’t know, I just...It doesn’t seem like something that you’d do at all. And I mean, I guess...you know how it took me a long time to square with the idea that you liked me?”

“Yeah?”

“I think it’s like that.”

“Oh. Okay.” Bobby just holds him closer. “Well, then I guess I’ll just do what I did then, and wait for you to believe it.”

 

* * *

 

Coming out to his parents _sucks_.

It's not as though he hasn't done it before; he's been adamant about being a boy for as long as he knew what a gender was. It took years for his mom to come to grips with it, and she still says shit sometimes that boils his blood.

But coming out as a mutant? That goes even worse.

“Have you tried... _not_ being a mutant?” his mother asks, nervously glancing at John, who is glaring Bobby's family down like they murdered his dog.

“It's not something you can pretend away, Mom,” Bobby says, taking comfort in the measured click-clack of John’s lighter.

Mom exhales. “Are you safe? It's just -- there's so much on the news…”

Bobby considers lying, telling her that of course they're safe, but that's not going to hold up for very long. “Well, uh. You've probably actually seen me on the news. I’m Iceman.”

“Seriously?” Ronny cuts in. “ _You’re_ an X-Man?”

“Yeah, he is,” John says. “Best in our generation, too. Saves my ass on the regular.”

Bobby flushes. “You’re an X-Man too, Johnny,” he points out. “And besides, we’re all still new. Sc -- Cyclops wouldn't send us out on missions we couldn't handle.”

“I need a moment, please excuse me,” Mom says, her voice pitched a little high and tight. She gets up from the couch and exits the room.

Dad takes up where she left off. “Is that what you want to do with your life, son? Paramilitary combat for a tenuously legal private force?”

“Well, yeah. And maybe teaching at the school.” He shrugs. “Sometimes, people need saving. I have these powers -- shouldn't I use 'em to help people?” Biting his lip, he adds, “And it's not the only thing X-Men do. Kitty -- uh, Shadowcat -- wants to be president someday, and John’s probably gonna be her speechwriter.”

Dad nods. “I see. I remember Kitty, you had her over last Rosh Hashanah. She's very bright.”

“She's got it in her to save the world,” John says. “I’m just along for the ride.”

Bobby can hear the pride in John’s voice, and he feels it too. He’s seen Kitty and John when they get to talking mutant politics, the way they push each other to be better, clearer, more concise in their views.

The world will be better with them fighting for it.

“Yeah. So. I know it’s not really safe, but it’s...it’s important. And I’m good at it.”

Dad takes a deep, considering breath. “I’m going to have to talk to your mother about this, you understand that, right?”

“I know. And I — I’m sorry you have to deal with that.” Bobby takes a breath of his own. “And I know why she’s upset. Pretty much everything she ever wanted out of me, I wound up being the opposite.”

John’s lighter clicks a little louder this time, and Bobby just hopes he doesn’t say anything.

They can talk about it later.

 

* * *

 

When they reach the motel after leaving Bobby’s parents, John is sure of exactly two things:

He _hates_ humans, and he is desperately in love with Bobby Drake.

And okay, maybe he’ll hate humans a little bit less tomorrow, when the sting of Mrs. Drake’s fear and anger have faded somewhat. But in the meantime, he just pulls the car into a parking spot and gets out, Bobby at his side.

It doesn’t take long before they have the keys to a motel room, and they slip inside it with one duffel bag. There’s two beds, but John has a feeling they’ll only wind up using one.

John knows, a little selfishly, that he doesn’t want to sleep alone tonight.

 

* * *

 

Bobby doesn’t realize they’ve left on the first night of Hanukkah until the sun is setting and he’s sprawled out on the bed. It’s disappointing in the way that missed holidays tend to be; Bobby’s never been all that religious, but he’s always at least _liked_ Hanukkah.

“I’m gonna go grab us something to eat,” John says. “You gonna be all right in here?”

Bobby leans up on his elbows and looks at John. That’s his plotting expression, Bobby knows. But he trusts him, at least not to do anything criminal for now.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” He even tries to smile.

John pauses for a moment, and it feels like he’s about to do something, but all he does is nod, and head back out of the motel room.

He’s gone for half an hour. Bobby spends the time flat on his back on that bed, wishing, for just a minute, that things could be different. That things could be better.

But he’ll just have to live with it as it is, he guesses.

 

* * *

 

It takes nearly fifteen minutes just to _find_ a menorah.

 

* * *

 

When John gets back, he’s got something wrapped in a plastic bag, and a slightly awkward expression on his face. Bobby doesn’t know what to do with that, so he just arches an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“I, uh. I realized tonight’s the first night of Hanukkah,” John says, and pulls a menorah and some candles out of the plastic bag. “And I thought maybe you might wanna still celebrate, even though you’re not at home and stuff.”

Part of Bobby wants to break down in tears. He’s pretty sure this is the nicest thing John’s ever done for him, and that’s saying a lot.

“Holy shit, Johnny,” he says, and he barrels over to him to give him a tight, overwhelmed hug. “Thank you.”

John wraps his free arm around Bobby in return. “Anytime, Bobby.”

Bobby has never been more in love.

...Wait. _What_?

 

* * *

 

The lighting of the menorah is something John’s seen before — a couple of times, school break didn’t line up with the holiday, so Kitty and Bobby had teamed up to celebrate together. But it feels different, this time, alone in a cheap motel with Bobby.

John has never been all that religious, but he knows the story associated with Hanukkah — the Maccabees driving out a Greek king, and one night of oil lasting eight days afterward — and he likes it. Even more, he likes the quiet, reverent way that Bobby gives the blessings, his voice flowing over the Hebrew. John doesn’t remember what they mean, but he likes the way the words sound.

Then, Bobby lights the candles just as carefully, and when he’s done, he smiles at John, and John’s chest aches with feeling.

“Thank you,” Bobby murmurs. “This is — you really didn’t have to do something like this, but thank you.”

“You deserve it,” John murmurs back, stepping toward him.

Bobby moves closer, too, and hugs John again. This time John holds him close with both arms, tucking his chin over Bobby’s shoulder.

When Bobby pulls away, John’s not quite sure how to parse his expression, but he doesn’t think it’s a bad one.

 

* * *

 

They stay in the motel for another couple of days. Bobby keeps his phone turned off, not wanting to deal with his parents and what they might do.

He also has kind of a lot to think about, given his realization the first night.

Holy shit, he’s in love with his best friend.

Looking back, it seems obvious, and he wonders if John can tell. He hopes he can’t, because if John knows and hasn’t said anything, that’s as good as a rejection.

And that...hurts. Kind of a lot.

 

* * *

 

When they get back to school, Rogue can tell something’s changed. She thinks that Bobby at least knows now, which could be a good thing, if not for the fact that Bobby keeps looking at John like he’s _heartbroken_.

So, she goes to see what that’s about, approaching John during one of the few moments that Bobby and John aren’t attached at the hip.

“So. What happened with Bobby’s folks?” she asks him, false-casual.

John sighs like he wishes she’d asked any other question. “They’re shitty, but what else is new?” He cracks his neck. “They know we’re mutants now, and it didn’t go over well with either of them. Ronny at least seemed a little impressed. Jealous, but impressed.”

Oof. If John is searching for the positives, it _must’ve_ been bad.

“Did y’all wind up getting kicked out, or…?”

“Bobby’s dad said it might be best if we left, to give Bobby’s mom a chance to cool off. So we got a motel room on the first fucking night of Hanukkah.” Now John sounds a little mad, and she doesn’t blame him.

Rogue puts a gloved hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “Sounds like a rough night.”

“Yeah. I ran out and got a menorah and stuff, and I think that helped, but...Jesus, that woman is a piece of _work._ ”

 

* * *

 

Kitty calls Bobby as soon as she gets his text, and Bobby picks up on the first ring.

“So, you finally got a fucking clue?” she asks, though her tone is teasing. “John’s literally the only person who doesn’t know you’re painfully in love with him, now.”

“Am I that obvious?” Bobby asks, mildly horrified by the idea of it.

“Mhm,” Kitty says. “Sorry, man, but you’ve always been that weird combination of completely obvious and totally oblivious. It’s kind of funny, but also kind of sad.”

At least he can always trust Kitty to call him on his bullshit, he thinks. “Wow. And you’re sure John doesn’t know, right? Absolutely sure?”

“I promise you, he has no idea.”

Bobby sighs. “So...what do I do? I mean, Kitty, I’m _in love_ with my _best friend._ ”

Kitty sighs right back at him. “You gotta tell him.”

“But, Kitty, if he’s not — if he’s not interested, won’t that ruin everything?” John is the best thing he has going for him right now, and he can’t bear to lose him.

“Okay, first of all, you won’t know if he’s interested or not if you don’t ask,” Kitty starts. “And secondly, if you don’t talk to him about this, it’ll just create tension that’ll build up over time and then blow up in your faces. I mean, that’s what happened to Dani and Rahne, remember?”

He definitely remembers that. The two girls — a few years older than them — had absolutely fallen apart until someone finally made them sit down and talk it out more than a year after their friend-breakup.

He shudders at the idea of that happening to him and John. “Okay. Okay. I’ll...I’ll talk to him.”

 

* * *

 

The Institute always has a New Year’s Eve party, and John is sort of into it. The older kids get to dance and drink punch (which, because Kitty and Illyana are Fun People To Party With, is always spiked a little bit with some _legit_ Russian spirits) after the younger kids are shuffled off to bed.

Tonight, though, Bobby seems nervous, and John can’t, for the life of him, fathom why. He’s been a little weird since Hanukkah, but John had sort of figured then that that was because of his parents.

Now, he doesn’t know what to think.

They’re out on the roof, avoiding the main thrust of the party. John is a little buzzed, and he’s pretty sure Bobby is, too, and the New Year is fast approaching. John knows that because Bobby keeps glancing at his watch and looking a little more nervous each time.

Again, he has no idea why.

“John,” Bobby says, voice almost questioning, as they look out over the grounds of the Institute. “Have you ever...have you ever been in love?”

Dangerous ground, really. “Yeah. Why?”

“Just wondering,” Bobby says, softly. He sounds almost...defeated, and that doesn’t make sense.

John glances over at him. In the moonlight, Bobby is gorgeous, the bluish light reminiscent of his ice form. “Do you think you might be?”

“Yeah.”

The ache in his chest is expected, but still hurts. “Do I know her?”

“Him,” Bobby says, flushing. “And yeah, I’d say so.”

Fuck, that makes it worse.

“Oh. Um, well, good luck, then. Hope it works out.” He’ll try not to think about Bobby dating any of the guys in their age group, and when Bobby tells him who it is, he’ll try his best not to act jealous.

“Yeah, me too.”

“And...if he breaks your heart, you know I’ll be right here, you know?” he promises. “I’ll kick his ass.”

Bobby laughs a little, but he still sounds sad. So John reaches out and takes his hand. “I mean it. Just give me his name and I’ll kick his ass.”

“Thanks,” Bobby murmurs, squeezing John’s hand. “Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Something’s definitely off, but John doesn’t know what. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I just. It’s hard, being in love with someone who has no idea I love him.” Bobby looks down. “Kitty thinks I should tell him, but I don’t wanna make it weird.”

It hurts a little that Bobby went to Kitty first for something like this, but John exhales, forces himself to relax over it. “You don’t think he’s into you?”

“I mean, why would he be?”

John turns and looks Bobby dead in the face. “I mean, you’re smart, and you’re good at what you do, and you’re always willing to stand up for other people, even if you have trouble standing up for yourself.” He shrugs. “You’re pretty easy on the eyes, and you’re funny, and you look really good in head-to-toe black leather, which is kind of a feat, in my opinion.”

Bobby flushes. “So, like, what? I’m a catch?”

“Yeah. He’d have to be straight or out if his goddamn _mind_ not to want to date you.” He’s being honest, even if it makes his chest ache.

Bobby only seems to blush a little redder as he looks down at his knees. “I’m pretty sure he isn’t either of those things.” He exhales.

“Well, then, you should be free and clear.”

“Maybe,” he murmurs. Downstairs, people start cheering, and the sound carries all the way up to the two of them on the roof. “Oh, shit, is it...? Fuck.”

That’s all the warning John gets before Bobby is leaning into his space and, and kissing him. It’s a little mindblowing, if he’s honest, and it takes him a second to kiss back, his hand coming up to cup Bobby’s cheek.

When Bobby pulls away for breath, John is flushed and staring. He watches Bobby as if any second now, he’ll wake up, because this is _absolutely_ a dream come true.

“John? Was that — is this okay?” Bobby looks nervous, and John almost kicks himself.

“Yeah, shit, that was — it’s me, that you’re in love with?” To his ears, it sounds too good to be true. “Fuck, that’s, I love you too.”

Now it’s Bobby’s turn to stare. “You mean it?”

“Hell yeah.” He takes a breath. “God, for ages now.” He squeezes Bobby’s hand. “Can I, um, can I kiss you again?”

Bobby nods, looking a little dumbstruck, and John pulls him to him.

And so begins the new year. 


End file.
